Forgotten

This picture doesn't really have much to do with this. But I was thinking today - you know, sometimes, I want to be the one people text. I want to be the one with the information. When anything fun is happening and no one tells me (unless my roommates do), it kind of sucks when everyone else hangs out together....and no one thought to tell me...

Yes, I'm aware. This sounds like a childish rant - and probably is. But it really makes me wonder - what did I do? Or what didn't I do? I have a lot of great friends, but I'm not the "party-person." I'm not the exciting one. But as far as I'm aware I'm not a bad friend - and if I am and my friends could inform me of this, I would really like to know. K, thanks!

When my roommates look at me at 9:30 and say, "are you going out tonight?" and my response is, "no....are people going out?" I know I'm invited - and I know that my roommate was probably assumed to be responsible enough with the information to include me. But that's really not the point, is it? Somewhere along the line I developed I fear of being forgotten....and I wonder where I picked up on that one?

Sometimes....just for a bit, I would really like to be the "popular" one.

Young

"Young"

Looking back now, well it makes me laugh 

We were growin our hair, we were cuttin' class 

Knew it all already, there was nothing to learn 

We were strikin' matches just to watch 'em burn 

Listen to our music just a little too loud 

We were hangin' in there with the outcast crowd 

Headin' to the rapids with some discount beer 

It was a long train tussle but we had no fear. 

Man I don't know, where the time goes 

But It sure goes fast, just like that 

We were wanna be rebels who didn't have a clue 

With our Rock n' roll T-shirts, and our typically bad attitudes 

Had no excuses for the things that we'd done 

We were brave, we were crazy, we were mostly

Young 

Talked a good game when we were out with the guys 

But in the back seat we were awkward and shy 

Girls were a mystery that we couldn't explain 

And I guess there are some things that are never gonna change 

Man I don't know, where the time goes 

But It sure goes fast, just like that 

We were wanna be rebels who didn't have a clue 

With our Rock n' roll T-shirts, and our typically bad attitudes 

Had no excuses for the things that we'd done 

We were brave, we were crazy, we were mostly

Young 

Young, Young, Yeah Wishin' we were older 

Young, Hey I wish it wasn't over 

                        Man I don't know, where the time goes 
                           But It sure goes fast, just like that 
                  We were wanna be rebels who didn't have a clue 
          With our Rock n' roll T-shirts, and our typically bad attitudes 
                     Had no excuses for the things that we'd done 
                   We were brave, we were crazy, we were mostly
                                                Young 
                Young, Hey wishin' we were older, wish it wasn't over

Sometimes I wish I had been dumber in undergrad. I have always been old for my age. (Yes, I know that sounds pompous and unrealistic, but I actually have been told that before.) But what I found was that I was only older in some ways. Overall, I was probably just as young as everyone else. But I sometimes I wish I had been dumber (and younger) in undergrad because maybe I would be more confident now. But not only that, there are many times now that I wish I could just be crazy and party and not care one bit. But I can't. Because that's not me. I care a lot, I'm not crazy, and I will never be a true party-animal. But that doesn't mean that there isn't a small part in me that would like that. It just seems easier. But then again, we all want what we can't have.