Thanks

I have been more melodramatic in the last year than is really part of my personality. This post is simply a thank you to two women in my life that have put up with me enough to live with me who are always honest, there for me no matter what, sympathize with me, and when I cross over into melodrama - they tell me by their silence and pointed advice that enough is enough.  These women are two wonderful influences in my life and do a really nice job of keeping me on track.

Loyalty

When I die, I hope that people say that I'm loyal. I hope they say other things too, but a friend of mine called me "loyal" last week, and I was so flattered. I think it was one of the best compliments that I've ever received, and I don't think she knows what it meant to me. But just as we all know, every strength can be a fault if not used appropriately.

I have a random post (with not much on it, I'll admit), but it says "Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer give a damn." Now, to be honest, I didn't write much on that post because I was mad, I didn't have a whole lot to say, and I knew that nothing that I could say would have been very productive. But the quote made a good point. Loyalty is something that we desire in friends, significant others, and hopefully everyone in our lives. And when you lose that person, it isn't going to be a very positive experience for you.

Surprisingly enough, loyalty is what I'm still looking for. I'm looking for someone who fits me perfectly and who is going to be loyal. They are going to be honest, truthful, and forthcoming and they will help me to be the same. So when you say something, mean it, and don't back down later without being honest about it. Because if you aren't honest, those loyal people in your life will leave. They will leave and never look back - because they value honestly and loyalty too.

History

"You have to put your past behind you." "Put your behind in your past." "Learn from the past." These are lessons we have grown up hearing. But you know, it's one that is easier said than done. I am a history person - someone who believes that you have to learn from your past in order to move forward. But I'm also someone who believes that you can know nearly everything there is to know about a person if you know where they came from and how they got to now. Your past defines you. As much as we try to put it behind us because of the painful parts there, it is a part of us and it changes the way we look at everything in our future. Never trust someone who doesn't understand that your past is who you are - because your past entirely defines you. It defines you in such a way that logic won't get you out of it. Now, I would like to apologize to anyone who has had to deal with me - with my past. But at the same time, it's who I am. Part of growing up is learning that and then constantly dealing with the past as it flares in our faces yet again - as old fears crop up, consequences of old decisions reveal themselves, and happiness surfaces. 

Be honest. Be honest with those people who have to deal with this. Be honest about your fears - don't let them define your present. It's hard to open up and trust new people, but sometimes that is the best thing you can do. History will only repeat itself if you let it - if you aren't honest and your try to run from it.