Farmer's Markets

My coworkers and I discovered a small farmer's market in town last weekend. Not only was it a fun adventure, the vegetables were so cheap! Nothing beats fresh fruit and veggies and when you add that we found kale for $1 a bunch, that just makes it even better! So naturally we went back this weekend. I was able to get 2 bunches of kale and 2 cucumbers for $3. I am pretty sure that would have easily been at least $6-8 at the grocery store!

Eating healthy is oftentimes hard, especially when we are balancing life, school, work, family, friends, and anything else that we might have going on - and you aren't the only one! Everyone has the exact same problem! Take an hour out of your crazy life to do something easy, relaxing, and fun. A farmer's market is an easy way to get a lot of shopping done quickly and cheaply. It's a fun way to eat healthy on a budget, AND it supports your local farmers. Keep it local and support your home economy! We even walked in the rain and so added a little bit of exercise and friends into our day.

Thanks

I have been more melodramatic in the last year than is really part of my personality. This post is simply a thank you to two women in my life that have put up with me enough to live with me who are always honest, there for me no matter what, sympathize with me, and when I cross over into melodrama - they tell me by their silence and pointed advice that enough is enough.  These women are two wonderful influences in my life and do a really nice job of keeping me on track.

Ski Bum

Disclaimer: this blog post is going to be a bit like the last one.

So for those of you who don't know this story, I will give you a summary of it:
I grew up skiing, not every weekend like some kids but enough that my Baba bought my sister and I our own gear. Now we went skiing with him a few times a year until his knees stopped letting him go - which conveniently coincided with our gear no longer really fitting properly. After that, I hadn't gone skiing again until 2 years ago - and I was completely and utterly terrified. I wasn't scared because I didn't know how to ski (muscle-memory is really an amazing phenomenon!), instead I was scared because I had somehow developed an irrational fear of falling off the face of the mountain.

Yes, I understand that this fear was irrational and to those of you who don't know much about fears - do NOT EVER try to logic someone out of an irrational fear. It doesn't help, and will probably make it worse.

Needless to say, even though my ski buddy was so kind to me, I still felt that day that I was holding him back and that he really would rather be skiing somewhere else. And I couldn't help how scared I was and I couldn't get over it. (Looking back on it, I think I tried to force myself to get over it, and that also made it worse.)

So the other day, I decided that, buddy or not, I was going skiing and I was going to conquer my fear. I ended up having a friend to go with who had only skied twice and he was probably the best ski buddy I could have asked for because we were about at the same level and I could go at a slower pace and not feel as though I was holding anyone back. And you know what? I was a little nervous, but I was never scared. I now feel as though I could totally go back, and enjoy myself again, I just have to remember to stay within my limits and comfort level - and maybe be more careful of whom I pick to accompany me.

At some point, I told M that "there are some days where I am really glad that I'm not the same person I was two years ago, and today is one of those days." Now, I don't know if M really needed to hear that, but it was good for me to say out loud. Because I realized that this ski trip was only partly about proving to myself that I can ski and that I'm not afraid. It was also about proving to myself that I'm a whole person who is strong and independent and can make decisions on her own and doesn't need to be helped through life.

My entire life I was told that I was confident and very grown up for someone my age. And in the last 2 years I have felt like I was anything but that. Don't ever take who you are for granted, constantly develop yourself and give yourself opportunities to grow, because you won't ever grow if you don't take chances. You might be hurt worse than you ever could have imagined, but you also might find that you are stronger and more confident and more sure of yourself than you ever imagined you could be. Only in change does one truly live. Biologically speaking, if your body stopped changing (stopped metabolizing food, stopped growing, stopped healing, etc), you would be dead. The same is true for your soul - you have to give it the opportunity to learn and grow or you will only be moving backwards and unhappiness and discontentment will follow. So, even when times get tough, remember that "even if you fall flat on your face, at least you are moving forward" (Viktor Kiam).

Forgotten

This picture doesn't really have much to do with this. But I was thinking today - you know, sometimes, I want to be the one people text. I want to be the one with the information. When anything fun is happening and no one tells me (unless my roommates do), it kind of sucks when everyone else hangs out together....and no one thought to tell me...

Yes, I'm aware. This sounds like a childish rant - and probably is. But it really makes me wonder - what did I do? Or what didn't I do? I have a lot of great friends, but I'm not the "party-person." I'm not the exciting one. But as far as I'm aware I'm not a bad friend - and if I am and my friends could inform me of this, I would really like to know. K, thanks!

When my roommates look at me at 9:30 and say, "are you going out tonight?" and my response is, "no....are people going out?" I know I'm invited - and I know that my roommate was probably assumed to be responsible enough with the information to include me. But that's really not the point, is it? Somewhere along the line I developed I fear of being forgotten....and I wonder where I picked up on that one?

Sometimes....just for a bit, I would really like to be the "popular" one.

Happiness

It's amazing what happens when you are happy. I have spent a lot of time recently not being happy and am proud to say that I now truly am. Everyone goes through this sometimes. The up's, the down's, the in-between's, and it always comes right in the end. But the thing you always forget in the meantime is what it feels like to be truly happy - to be yourself.

I got to spend yesterday being happy by myself and being happy with a few very good friends. It takes a lot of guts to be able to be happy and content with yourself - to be able to spend all day completely alone and to not be lonely or afraid or sad. I think to much, and when I'm alone and unhappy, that just gets worse. It was so refreshing to realize that I didn't need to think at all - because everything was finally right in my world.

I got to spend time with an amazing guy who cares about me and wants to do everything and anything that I want to - simply because he wants to learn about me and my world. He came to a fundraiser for the people I care about and had a good time, even though it was something he had never done before and never really seen himself doing. He did that for me, because I wanted to include him in my world. Two of my good friends came with me and I got to share that with them as well. Those are the people you need in your life - the people who will stay up talking with you late into the night, the people that you miss when they are gone (even if it's just home to their own apartment). Simply staying up and chatting or watching TV and doing absolutely nothing, can be the best time of your life if the right people are there. The people who care about you and build you up.

I don't get very many lazy days - I'm too busy running around doing everything else. But when I get them, I am so glad to be able to spend them with people who care about me, people who make even the simplest and laziest of days even better. I'm so glad to have these people in my life, and I hope that you all have them as well. Hold on to them, never let them go - they will be there even in the darkest of moments, when all you need to do is reach out and grab them.

Valentines

Happy Valentine's Day!! (And no, I'm not going to talk about how much I love my boyfriend - I don't have one of those.) I do however, have a lot of friends who mean so much to me and, in the spirit of love, I want to take the opportunity to let them know, that I have no idea what I would do without them.

I have been very lucky in my life to be blessed with good friends. And recently, when I needed people the most, I have found out who the true ones are (not that the other ones aren't true, they just maybe don't get me the way some people do.) Recently, I needed my close friends more than I maybe ever have - they stepped up to the plate and they saved me. I will be forever grateful to them for that. (And sometimes I think that they don't quite understand how much I needed them, simply because I hide things so well. But then again, they might considering my situation was not unique.)

I sincerely hope that I am never without my best friends, this world is a much better place with them and I know that, no matter where they are, they are only a phone call or text away. These ladies, in many ways, are really my sisters and I owe them so much.

Happy Valentine's Day ladies!

The Last Cookie...

...and sometimes...it's as simple as that...