Dangerous

I read books like some people watch TV. I always have. I don't know exactly what that says about me and I'm sure there are lots of psychologists out there who would love to tell me! But when I stumbled across this quote (thank you Pinterest!), it made me stop and think - because in this case, it equates reading with gaining knowledge and thinking for yourself.

If you read my last post, you will see the beginning of a train of thought that has become determination and motivation. I am a woman. I read a lot. And if you make me mad, threaten me or mine, or tell me that I can't - I am dangerous.

Sometimes these people (women and men alike), just need a kick-in-the-pants to get them going. Sometimes they need motivation. But whatever the trigger, there are plenty of people out there, like me, who, underneath, are not to be trifled with. For me, I think my friends can see that. Some of them, especially my sorority sisters, knew what I was capable of before I did. (My sorority sisters made me Vice President of Administration - in charge of officers, officer training, calendar planning, and accreditation - as a first semester sophomore.) I ran unopposed for Regent of my fraternity because the other people that I knew were thinking about running, figured that they would vote for me so they should run for something else.

I've found my motivation. It lies somewhere at the top of a very long year with lots of bumps along the way. It lies somewhere after rock bottom in your personal life. It lies somewhere after those you oversee start wandering away from the goal. It lies at the place between who you have been and who you will become. It lies at the place I am now - the place where healing happens, tests get aced, where you know that you have handled this before and you can do it again. It comes when you not only think you are dangerous, but when you truly believe that you are.

#bossstatus

So I went to a conference this weekend and attended all the lectures. One was about how various strengths fit a position. A quote that came out of it was this: "[...] girls tend to make very good pledge masters because they can kill you with a smile." This quote made me (and a lot of other people) laugh because it's true! 

But have you seen the TV show "Revenge"? Now that was what I thought of when the speaker said this. There are days I wish I was that girl - perfectly classy at all times, wonderfully kind to everyone, but an absolute b**** if you get on her bad side. She is both powerful and beautiful and while I will never be capable of being that, I do admire that quality. (I get closer when hungry and tired, so watch out! Haha!)

Many of the powerful women that I know, and many of the powerful men as well, are like this. They are extremely kind people but they know what they want, how to get it, and what you need to do for them to help them - and if you don't live up to their standards, then you might get a second chance, but you had better work for it and at least make progress and don't be stupid. The hard part is holding other people to the standards that you set - you have to think like a boss and not care what other people think of you - only know that you hold the standard and people need to live up to it.

Kill em with kindness, but do it in a way that makes you powerful and respected. Don't get walked over but remember that kindness will always win in the end.

Valentines

Happy Valentine's Day!! (And no, I'm not going to talk about how much I love my boyfriend - I don't have one of those.) I do however, have a lot of friends who mean so much to me and, in the spirit of love, I want to take the opportunity to let them know, that I have no idea what I would do without them.

I have been very lucky in my life to be blessed with good friends. And recently, when I needed people the most, I have found out who the true ones are (not that the other ones aren't true, they just maybe don't get me the way some people do.) Recently, I needed my close friends more than I maybe ever have - they stepped up to the plate and they saved me. I will be forever grateful to them for that. (And sometimes I think that they don't quite understand how much I needed them, simply because I hide things so well. But then again, they might considering my situation was not unique.)

I sincerely hope that I am never without my best friends, this world is a much better place with them and I know that, no matter where they are, they are only a phone call or text away. These ladies, in many ways, are really my sisters and I owe them so much.

Happy Valentine's Day ladies!

Lent

Today is Ash Wednesday. For anyone who doesn't know, that means that today is the day that practicing Catholics begin 40 days of repentance before Easter. These 40 days are meant to mimic the 40 days that Jesus spent in the desert prior to beginning His ministry in Galilee.

Repentance. That got me thinking, as it always does, because I never know what I'm giving up for Lent until Ash Wednesday. I try to never do the same thing because I believe that I need to constantly be challenging myself - it's not hard if you do pick something easy on purpose. The thought process that I go through each year includes the questions: what is something that I need to do to better myself? and what is something that I need? Each year, these questions rotate in importance depending on the events going on in my life at the time, as I'm sure you all can relate to.

Now, I am far from perfect. Like everyone else, I would really like to be perfect, but I know that I am not and I never will be. I make mistakes and struggle with aspects of life just like everybody else. I know that I am no one to judge others and I try very hard not to. Quotes like this one put that into perspective: because everyone, no matter how good they are now, has made at least one mistake in their lifetime and everyone who is in the middle of their most recent mistake, will learn from it and move on. St Peter, the first pope, one of the Twelve Apostles, made mistakes. He even went so far as to renounce Jesus when he knew Him! We regard Peter, the Rock, as a saint, even though we all know his past and who he was before - it's written all over the Bible. (At least when I make a mistake, it doesn't get written down in a Book that will be read for centuries to come!)

The way I see this, is that if Jesus can forgive Peter for renouncing Him at exactly the moment that He would have needed all the support He could get from His friends - then He can forgive me, and I can forgive myself, for the mistakes that I have made in my life and all the many that I will make in the future.

So maybe this Lenten season, we need to not give up candy or chocolate or coffee, but instead really take a look at what we need and what will make us a better person. Maybe if we do that, we can make fewer mistakes. Or maybe we will just avoid a few and make different ones. Either way, as long as we are really trying, God will forgive us for our mistakes - we just need to put our faith in Him and remember, that no matter how bad we have been, we can always change and be better.

Rho Chi

So in Pharmacy school, as in every other kind of school, we have a version of Honor Roll. This version is called "Rho Chi" and they take the top 5% of every class after 3 semesters of classwork. (Why they picked 3 semesters out of a possible 6, I will never understand.) This means that this year, someone got in with a 3.8 and someone got cut at a 3.75! (My GPA was not going to compete with that cut off.)

Now, I'm a little bit competitive with myself and life everyone else, I want to be the best. But I haven't had that high of a cumulative GPA since I was 19 years old. What I learned in high school was that, while I wanted to be the best, I was a happier person when I was not.

Why? Because when I got low A's and high B's in school (which is not going to get you anywhere near the required Rho Chi GPA), I was also involved in a ton of activities. I learned to be a leader, I worked part time, I had officer positions and volunteered my time to an extent that those Rho Chi people would never dream of doing!

A professor of mine made a comment once to the extent that the B students she has seen are more likely to be better pharmacists than those who get straight A's (not to say that an A student can't be a good pharmacist). But she had witnessed in her students the same thing that I had learned in high school: the B students knew their stuff and yet also had the ability to work with people. You learn more in hands-on activities and in leadership and talking with people and being comfortable around people and confident in yourself. In life you can usually phone a friend if you get really stuck, but your friend can't teach you how to communicate properly with your non-English-speaking patient - only experience can do that.

So I am very happy for the new Rho Chi initiates that were picked yesterday, I wish them good luck on the exam that we have today (you have more to "live up to" than I do :P ), and I am so very glad that I learned to be, and found joy in, being a well-rounded individual who knows how to do more in life than study.

LOW CHI 4 LYFE!

Live

I said in a previous post that I got into a "Why not?" mood and that it has gotten me to do some really fun things that I would not have ordinarily done. *Disclaimer* this post will be repeating some of the same advice.

I saw this picture today and it made me smile because my dogs always look like Christmas came early when they manage to get out of the yard. We used to chase one of them up and down the neighborhood when she was a puppy because she thought this was the greatest game ever invented.

That feeling, that look on those dogs faces, is the embodiment of pure joy - at least that is how I feel anyways. So get out there, take a chance, what do you have to lose?

I recently decided to run for a regional officer position in an organization that I am currently the President of for a local chapter. I have a friend who is the president of a different organization's local chapter - and she is now running for National Student President. One of my friends texted me after she found out that I was running for a regional officer. Her message? Simply to tell me how amazing I am and what a great job I have done. I can tell you that 1) I didn't do it all on my own, 2) I am well aware that there is at least 1 person who doesn't agree with her, 3) I really needed to hear that, and 4) the only reason I am doing anything worth while is because at one point I decided "why not?"

Be unbounded. Be unpredictable. Take chances. Find the joy in life. For me, sometimes joy is just being silly with my friends and sometimes it is living up to my own expectations while completely surpassing everyone else's. That joy is empowering and infectious (the cool kind!) and can take you wherever you want to go. It can heal a broken soul (on any level), it can motivate people to do things they never thought possible or within their reach, it can make you feel invincible. And sometimes being invincible is exactly the kind of feeling that propels life forward.

I don't think we should be stupid, by any means, but to be a little bit crazy and try new things and find the joy in life not only creates for good stories down the road and creates a happier self in the present, but it also shapes who we are as people and gets us closer to the people we were meant to be.

So, my advice? Go out and "Live....like somebody left the gate open."

Head colds

So....I woke up yesterday morning...that's the beginning of a lie - I went to bed on Sunday night with the telltale beginnings of a nasty head cold. Luckily, so far this has turned into a regular head cold, not one of the nasty variety. Not that that really helps, it just means that I only sound a little sick, not massively-stay-away-from-me sick. Anyways, my roommate had some phenylephrine - aka Sudafed, so I took some of that before I went to class. Now, I am a pharmacy student and I try very hard not to take medications I don't need. But this, this stuff works. I had to go to bed last night, not because I was tired, but because I was so congested that I couldn't focus. I managed to get the entire way through class totally fine. Now, don't just take this, there are side effects involved and it can interact with certain medications, so make sure you ask your pharmacist before taking over-the-counter (or in this case behind-the-counter) medications. But one thing is for sure, there are very few cold medications that work for me, and this one does.

Hot Mess

Story of my entire life.

It seems like no matter what you do, you are always taken by surprise. My life is funny in this way - I tend to run around like a chicken-with-my-head-cut-off pretty much all the time. One of my friends calls me a "Hot Mess." (And it makes sense that we are friends because she is something of  hot mess herself - although a different kind of one.

One thing I have found is that if you take everything in stride and one day at a time, you are more likely to succeed and with minimal stress. Tackle each battle as it comes and when it needs to be dealt with. Don't stress about the future too much and don't try to force anything.

I have found this to work in all areas of life as well - work-related, dating-related, everything. I've found that I'm a leader because I am organized to get everything done and calm enough to realize what needs to be done and can put out fires like a pro. I'm newly on the dating scene again and am realizing how much calmer life was when there were no real prospects at all! I am slowly coming to accept that sometimes I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing - and that maybe that is perfectly alright.