7 Cardinal Rules in Life

Everyone goes through times in their life that are more challenging than others - and if you haven't, I'm slightly worried about you, because believe me, your time is coming...but there are a few things that we all need to remember as the days go by that can try to help us through those times.

1. Make Peace with your Past. No matter what you have done in your life, God still loves you - and if He loves you, then you have no reason not to love you. I'm also sure that we've all done at least 1 thing that we believe is unforgivable - but that isn't true either, those things just need more time and healing.

2. What Others Think of You is None of Your Business. This is true - what you think of yourself is really all that matters. My roommates and I were talking last night about people we know - and this morphed into, "what do other people say about me?" (And we were referring to people who don't know us that well but that see us every day.) And you know, as much as we would still like to know the answer to that question - if we are happy with our own lives and with who we are, then other people will have nothing bad to say about us! Always be kind and prove your value to yourself, and the opinions of others will fall to the wayside.

3. Time Heals Almost Everything - to be honest, I haven't yet found something that time WON'T heal. The problem is, you have to wait for it. "Patience is a virtue," as they say, but maybe patience is really meant to keep us calm while we wait for time to heal us, because it will, and you will be a changed person because of the experience. (It's also nice to remember that "there is nothing new under the sun" and you are not the only person who has ever been hurt or has had to wait for time to heal you - it doesn't really help a ton, but it does help with the patience aspect slightly.)

4. You are the Reason for your Happiness. This goes back to number 2, if you are happy with yourself, life will be good. When we turn to alcohol or sex or pick-your-negative outlet to create a semblance of happiness, that feeling is fleeting - and will leave you less fulfilled and more unhappy as time goes on. Find something productive that makes you happy - be that exercise, dance, or throwing yourself at as many leadership positions as you can possibly handle - just make sure it's productive. Through those positive things that already make you happy, you will, with God's help, learn to find yourself again.

5. Don't Compare your Life with Others - this brings expectations that won't be fulfilled for you. I read a book once called He's Just Not That Into You (the movie is pretty good too - I recommend both of them), and the authors kept saying things along the lines of "just because this one person that your friend knows had this guy that behaved this way, doesn't mean that that's normal and will happen to you." The point of that was - don't compare your story to that of others! (Now, I truly believe that every happy couple has one of those "exception" stories, you just don't have any way of knowing which dating "rule" is the one you will be breaking, so you have to learn to play by the "rules." But that is another story.) The point is, you're life is your own - so be happy with it. Comparing will only bring you heartache.

6. Stop Thinking Too Much. To be honest, this one is probably my hardest one - and to be more honest, the reason I'm writing this blog to begin with, to get my thoughts out in one coherent place so as to stop that never-ending-ruminating-cycle. I always want there to be an answer and many times, there either isn't one, or I don't like the one that exists. Start a diary, rant to a friend, write a blog - do whatever it takes to get yourself to stop over-thinking the situation - because most of the time they aren't even worth it.

and last but definitely not least,

7. Smile and stand up straight. Put on your 4 inch heels if it makes you more confident. Not only does smiling actually releases endorphins and serotonin and relieves stress which makes us physically happier. On top of that, it makes you more attractive and open and friendly which draws people in! I actually have a friend that I thought was a terrible human being when I first met her - and the more I saw her smile the more I wanted to be her friend, and the funny thing is - she is quite a wonderful human being who was just unhappy at the point in time when I met her! But to be honest, I would never have even gone out of my way to be nice, had I not seen her smile and had this crazy idea that she might be cool. The more you can smile, and laugh, the happier you will be - I guarantee it.