Let Go

A few years ago I was on Greek Council with a few wonderful people. (The bulk if that is a different story.) When our terms were up, an advisor of ours made us a mixed CD with songs that ended up matching each of us perfectly. (Strange CD overall, the songs only go together when listened to altogether, funny, huh?) Anyways, these songs were supposed to represent not only who we were, but also what we should learn. My song was "Let Go" by Frou Frou. I knew it was mine right away because I always tried very hard to let things roll off my back, but I had this feeling that Sam thought it was something I still needed to learn. I have never asked her which she thought, and she probably wouldn't remember now, but I think the real reason it was my song was a little bit of both, because yes, I try very hard to let things roll - but I very often don't succeed.

That has happened to me a lot lately - not succeeding in that arena. One of my roommates has decided that she likes hearing me rant because it reminds her that I'm human. (High compliment in my opinion!) But I rant so that I don't lash out at others in non-productive ways. And when I don't rant, I bottle things up until something sets me off and then 2 or 3 days of my life are ruined with stress and tears. 

Some things are easy to let roll off - the company didn't deliver your material on time, the paper towel dispenser in the bathroom jammed, your boss set you a task you don't enjoy - you either ignore them or turn them into a lesson. But other things are harder - when you have to act like a President because someone acts like they're 12, you have to make a decision that you don't necessarily know is right, or someone abandons you when you thought better of them - those things take time...and good friends...and a hug...and a glass of wine...and maybe a relatively threatening rant that everyone knows won't come to fruition.

My last 2 days were like that. And I cried my eyes out multiple times. And I woke up this morning feeling a whole heck of a lot better because of the friends that I had, who were there for me when I needed them - no matter how much I'm sure they wish I'd figure it out and find some other life issue to cry about. 

So I guess this is a reminder to me and to all to "let go" and "live and let live" but also a tremendous thank you to the wonderful friends that I have - you truly have saved me more times than you realize.